Thursday, November 6, 2008

Monday, September 8, 2008

Female Impersonator Gearing For Senate Seat?

Talk about town is that a female impersonator, crossdresser, transgender type contemplating a run for the senate. Is Midge Potts gearing up to make a run for Kit Bond's senate seat in 2010?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Opinion Missouri Court Of Appeals Southern District

Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Case Style: Warren Davis Properties V, L.L.C., Plaintiff/Respondent, v. United Fire and Casualty Company, Defendant/Appellant.

Case Number: 22458

Handdown Date: 09/30/99

Appeal From: Circuit Court of Greene County, Hon. Don Bonacker

Counsel for Appellant: Robert S. Cockerham and Bart B. Zuckerman

Counsel for Respondent: John E. Price

Opinion Summary: None


Opinion Author: Kenneth W. Shrum, Judge

Opinion Vote: AFFIRMED. Crow, P.J., and Parrish, J., concur.


This appeal involves a suit by an insured against an insurance company for breach of contract and vexatious refusal to pay. Following a six-day trial, a jury returned verdicts in favor of Defendant United Fire and Casualty Company. Thereon, Plaintiff Warren Davis Properties V, L.L.C., moved for a new trial, which the trial court granted. Defendant appeals from that order as well as from the trial court's denial of its motions for directed verdict at trial. We affirm.
In August 1995, Warren Davis purchased the "old Heers Store," (FN1) the nearby "No-Nonsense building," and three parking lots, all in downtown Springfield, Missouri, from Golde's Department Stores, Inc., (Golde's) for a total purchase price of $415,000. On the same day Davis purchased these properties, he sold them to Warren Davis Properties V, L.L.C., (Plaintiff) for the same purchase price. Davis held a majority interest in and was the sole acting manager of Plaintiff.
Some time before consummating these transactions, Davis (on behalf of Plaintiff) consulted Ollis & Company, a local insurance agency, to obtain insurance on the Heers building. Through the local insurance agent, Plaintiff applied for $5.5 million coverage on the Heers building with United Fire and Casualty Company (Defendant). Plaintiff's insurance agent used a computer program to calculate the amount of coverage for which Plaintiff ultimately applied. Although Plaintiff's insurance agent intended to apply for replacement cost coverage, the application did not indicate whether Plaintiff was applying for replacement cost or actual cash value coverage. Davis's local agent forwarded the policy application to Defendant. Defendant responded by offering to extend the coverage amount requested but only on an actual cash value basis. Davis accepted the actual cash value coverage. On November 21, 1995, Plaintiff asked Defendant to increase Plaintiff's policy limits on the Heers building to $6.8 million. Defendant agreed to extend the additional coverage amount on an actual cash value basis.
On November 22, 1995, maintenance personnel locked the Heers building and departed for the Thanksgiving holiday. When maintenance workers returned to work on November 27, 1995, they discovered a sprinkler releasing water on the third floor. The water had run from the third floor down to the ground floor, saturating the floors, walls, and ceilings of all floors in between. As a result, Plaintiff filed a claim for the loss with Defendant.
On January 14, 1996, a security guard discovered another sprinkler releasing water in a bathroom on the second floor. The damage arising out of this incident was much less extensive than the first sprinkler incident. Much of the water ran down a drain in the bathroom floor. Even so, some of the water did run out of the bathroom, soaking carpets on the second floor and damaging ceiling tiles on the first floor ceiling. Soon thereafter, Plaintiff filed another claim for loss with Defendant. Defendant consolidated Plaintiff's claims for the two sprinkler incidents.
Under the insurance contract, Plaintiff was required to provide to Defendant a "proof of loss" containing an assessment of the damage caused by the sprinkler incidents. Plaintiff's first proof of loss contained a generalized statement of the damage but did not contain an estimate of the loss in actual cash value terms. Defendant requested a second proof of loss from Plaintiff and specifically requested that the second proof of loss contain a "statement of actual cash value and loss and damage, . . . and amount of loss claimed." Defendant extended the contractual deadline for Plaintiff's proof of loss in order to allow Plaintiff time to submit the second proof of loss.
For the second proof of loss, Plaintiff hired a team of five people, including an engineer, an architect, and an elevator/escalator specialist, to examine the building and estimate the costs to repair the damage. For purposes of their assessment, the team members estimated the costs to replace or repair the damaged property and did not estimate the actual cash value of the damaged property. Based on the team's evaluation and estimates, Plaintiff submitted its second proof of loss claiming actual cash value damages of $1,190,870.80.
Defendant conducted its own investigation of the sprinkler incidents, during which it requested various types of information and documents from both Plaintiff and Davis. Davis refused to provide some of the requested information. Ultimately, Defendant denied Plaintiff's claims in a letter dated May 17, 1996. The letter set out several reasons for the denial, only two of which are relevant to this appeal: (1) failure to satisfy the vacancy condition in the insurance contract, and (2) concealment or misrepresentation of material facts during Defendant's investigation in violation of the contract.
After the denial of its claims, Plaintiff sued Defendant, claiming, among other things, that Defendant breached the written insurance contract and that Defendant's denial amounted to a vexatious refusal to pay. Following trial, the jury returned verdicts in favor of Defendant. Thereon, Plaintiff moved for a new trial, which the trial court granted. Defendant appeals from that order and from the trial court's denial of its motions for directed verdict. We recount additional facts where relevant to our discussion.
Defendant's first point relied on states:

This point appears to raise a purely hypothetical issue in that the jury returned a verdict in favor of Defendant. Consequently, it seems Defendant is asking us to render an advisory opinion, which we will not do. See Workman v. Vader , 854 S.W.2d 560, 564[6] (Mo.App. 1993). However, Defendant argues in Point II that the trial court erred in granting Plaintiff's motion for new trial because, inter alia , Defendant established the affirmative defenses of vacancy and material misrepresentation as a matter of law. We, therefore, deem it appropriate to resolve Defendant's Point I, i.e., decide whether the alleged affirmative defenses were or should have been part of the case, before we address Point II.
Defendant's motions to amend arose out of the following circumstances. When trial commenced, Defendant's answer included the following under the heading "AFFIRMATIVE DEFENSES":
"[Plaintiff] is not entitled to any coverage or recovery under said contract of insurance because [Plaintiff] breached the conditions of the contract of insurance, including the following:
. . . .
"' 6. Vacancy
"'If the building where loss or damage occurs has been vacant for more than 60 consecutive days before the loss or damage, we will:
"' a. Not pay for any loss or damage caused by any of the following even if they are Covered Causes of Loss:
"' (1) Vandalism;
"' (2) Sprinkler leakage, unless you have protected the system against freezing;
"' (3) Building glass breakage;
"' (4) Water damage;
"' (5) Theft; or
"' (6) Attempted theft.
"'A building is vacant when it does not contain enough business personal property to conduct customary operations.
"'Buildings under construction are not considered vacant.
. . . .
"'This Coverage Part is void in any case of fraud by you as it relates to this Coverage Part at any time. It is also void if you or any other insured, at any time, intentionally conceal or misrepresent a material fact concerning:
"' 1. This Coverage Part;
"' 2. The Covered Property;
"' 3. Your interest in the Covered Property; or
"' 4. A claim under this Coverage Part.'"

Defendant's answer did not allege any other facts regarding these contractual provisions or Plaintiff's compliance or noncompliance therewith.
Beginning on the second day of the six-day trial, the trial court sua sponte questioned whether Defendant had properly pleaded its affirmative defenses. In particular, the trial court voiced concern that Defendant's answer did not contain sufficient allegations of fact to demonstrate that Defendant was entitled to its affirmative defenses of vacancy and concealment or misrepresentation under Rule 55.08. (FN2) The trial court entertained arguments of both parties on the issue, and Defendant twice moved to amend its pleadings to conform to the evidence pursuant to Rule 55.33(b). The trial court denied both motions and refused to submit Defendant's proposed affirmative defense instructions to the jury. In this point, Defendant challenges as erroneous the trial court's denial of its motions to amend its answer.
A number of considerations attend our review of this point. Under Rule 55.33(b), (FN3) issues not raised in the pleadings may be tried by express or implied consent of the parties. Kackley v. Burtrum , 947 S.W.2d 461, 465 (Mo.App. 1997). It is "quite usual" for parties to amend their pleadings under Rule 55.33(b), even during trial. Midwest Materials Co. v. Village Dev. Co. , 806 S.W.2d 477, 488 (Mo.App. 1991). "A court should be liberal in permitting such amendments . . . ." St. Louis County v. Taggert , 809 S.W.2d 476, 478[5] (Mo.App. 1991). Nevertheless, the decision whether to allow a moving party to amend its pleadings in such circumstances is committed to the sound discretion of the trial court, and appellate courts will not disturb the trial court's decision "absent an obvious abuse of that discretion." Id .
Failure to make a timely and specific objection to evidence on the ground that it is beyond the scope of the parties' pleadings constitutes consent for determination of issues raised thereby. Kackley , 947 S.W.2d at 465[7]. Issues tried by implied consent shall be treated as though they were raised in the pleadings even if the pleadings have not been formally amended to conform to the evidence. Id . at 465[8]. However, "evidence received without objection will give rise to an amendment of the pleadings by implied consent only when it bears solely on the proposed new issue and is not relevant to some other issue already in the case." Id. at 465[9] n.3 (citing Lester v. Sayles , 850 S.W.2d 858, 868-869[13] (Mo.banc 1993)).
Defendant argues that two of its affirmative defenses--specifically, the vacancy condition and the concealment, misrepresentation, or fraud condition--were tried by implied consent because evidence supporting both defenses was presented at trial, Plaintiff did not object to this evidence, and the evidence was not relevant to any other issue at trial. See Rule 55.33(b); Lester , 850 S.W.2d at 868-869[13]; Leonards v. U-Jin Enterprises, Inc. , 811 S.W.2d 480, 485[8] (Mo.App. 1991). Plaintiff, on the other hand, argues that evidence of vacancy and concealment or misrepresentation was relevant to other issues at trial--in particular, its vexatious refusal claim, brought pursuant to section 375.420. ( FN4) As a result, Plaintiff argues it did not impliedly consent to try Defendant's purported affirmative defenses. We agree with Plaintiff.
Defendant's denial letter set out several bases for the denial of Plaintiff's claims. Among these reasons were the two mentioned above: (1) Plaintiff's failure to satisfy the vacancy condition in the contract, and (2) Plaintiff's concealment and/or misrepresentation of material facts. In order for Plaintiff to prove that Defendant's denial of the claims rose to the level of a vexatious refusal, Plaintiff had to show that Defendant "refused to pay [Plaintiff's] loss without reasonable cause or excuse." Section 375.420. Thus, it was logical--if not necessary--for Plaintiff to attempt to demonstrate that Defendant's stated bases for denial of the claims were not "reasonable cause or excuse." Because Defendant's stated reasons for denial included vacancy and concealment or misrepresentation, evidence regarding these reasons was relevant to the issue of whether Defendant's refusal to pay Plaintiff's claims was vexatious. As a result, this evidence was not relevant solely to Defendant's affirmative defenses and it cannot be said that Plaintiff impliedly consented to try them. Consequently, we hold the trial court did not abuse its discretion in denying Defendant's motions to amend its answer. Accordingly, Point I is denied. (FN5)
In its second point, Defendant contends, inter alia , that the trial court erred in (1) denying its motions for directed verdict at the close of Plaintiff's evidence and at the close of all the evidence, and (2) granting Plaintiff's motion for a new trial. Defendant's point avers three reasons the trial court's disposition of these motions was erroneous:
"A. Plaintiff failed to produce sufficient evidence it was damaged by the two sprinkler incidents in that plaintiff produced no evidence of the actual cash value or fair market value of the Heers building before and after the two sprinkler incidents;
"B. Defendant established its affirmative defense of vacancy as a matter of law . . .; and
"C. Defendant established its affirmative defense of material misrepresentation and concealment as a matter of law . . . ."

At the outset, we note that reasons "B" and "C" are nullified by our disposition of Point I. Thus, we need consider only reason "A." Moreover, we view Defendant's attack on the trial court's denial of its motions for directed verdict as moot in light of the fact that the jury returned a verdict for Defendant. The jury verdict gave Defendant exactly what it sought by its motions for directed verdict. This leaves for our review only Defendant's claim that the trial court erred in granting Plaintiff's motion for new trial.
In granting Plaintiff a new trial, the trial court stated, among other things, that it believed "the verdict was for the wrong party and against the greater weight of the evidence." Rule 78.02 allows the trial court to grant one new trial on the basis that the verdict is against the weight of the evidence. "The trial court's order granting a new trial is presumptively correct[] and will be disturbed only in the event of a manifest abuse of discretion." Carpenter v. Chrysler Corp. , 853 S.W.2d 346, 359[19] (Mo.App. 1993). "Such manifest abuse of discretion occurs when the benefitting party fails to make a submissible case." Gregg v. Erb , 834 S.W.2d 253, 254 (Mo.App. 1992). "In order to make a submissible case, it is incumbent on the plaintiff to present substantial evidence supporting each element of his claim." McGraw v. Andes , 978 S.W.2d 794, 802[7] (Mo.App. 1998). To determine whether Plaintiff made a submissible case, this court views the evidence and all reasonable inferences drawn therefrom in a light most favorable to the Plaintiff. Gregg , 834 S.W.2d at 254. In so doing, we take Plaintiff's evidence as true unless entirely unreasonable or contrary to physical facts, we reject all inferences unfavorable to Plaintiff, and we disregard Defendant's evidence except as it aids the Plaintiff's case. Id. Our supreme court has explained the policy behind this standard of review as follows:
"'[T]he policy is founded upon the fundamental inappropriateness of appellate courts' endeavoring to weigh evidence. We have only the cold transcript before us which reveals very few of the numerous factors to be considered in weighing evidence. . . . [W]eighing evidence is not simply a matter of quantitative analysis, but is primarily a qualitative analysis. While we might well determine which litigant produced the larger quantity of evidence, our position is far inferior to that of the trial court in analyzing the quality of the evidence. Consequently we must rely upon the trial court's proper exercise of the discretion entrusted to it in such matters.'"

Gentry v. Douglas , 744 S.W.2d 788, 789 (Mo.banc 1988) (quoting Clark v. Quality Dairy Co. , 400 S.W.2d 78, 82 (Mo.banc 1966)).
The only element of Plaintiff's case Defendant attacks is Plaintiff's showing of damages. Specifically, Defendant argues that "[P]laintiff did not produce any evidence that the two sprinkler incidents caused a diminution in the actual cash value of the Heers building." Both parties acknowledge that the phrase "actual cash value" is not defined in the insurance contract, but the parties agree that the phrase has been treated by case law as meaning "fair market value." Dewitt v. American Family Mut. Ins. Co. , 667 S.W.2d 700, 708 n.6 (Mo.banc 1984); Pannell v. Missouri Insurance Guaranty Ass'n , 595 S.W.2d 339, 355 (Mo.App. 1980). "Fair market value," in turn, "refers to the price the property would bring if sold by a willing seller to a willing buyer who is under no compulsion to buy." Sharaga v. Auto Owners Mut. Ins. Co. , 831 S.W.2d 248, 253[12] (Mo.App. 1992). Our review of the record, conducted under the standards set out above, leads us to the conclusion that Plaintiff did present substantial evidence and did, therefore, make a submissible case on the issue of whether it had sustained an actual cash value loss, i.e., a diminution in the fair market value of the Heers building, as a result of the sprinkler incidents.
Warren Davis was the first witness called by Plaintiff. Davis testified that despite the $415,000 price paid to purchase the five properties from Golde's, he believed the Heers building, alone, was actually worth around $2.6 million at the time of closing and that the building's value did not change from the time of closing until the first sprinkler incident. He also testified that when he offered the Heers building for sale after the sprinkler incidents, he asked for only $1.3 million because of the water damage. He based his valuations, in part at least, on his experience purchasing other buildings and real estate in downtown Springfield and his familiarity with the real estate market in the area.
Plaintiff points out that Missouri case law has recognized that a managing officer of a corporation is competent to testify as to the value of property held by the corporation he or she manages. St. Joseph Light & Power Co. v. Kaw Valley Tunneling, Inc. , 589 S.W.2d 260, 269[13] (Mo.banc 1979). This is true even though the managing officer is not an expert so long as "he is in fact familiar with the value of the realty." Southern Mo. Dist. Council of the Assemblies of God v. Hendricks , 807 S.W.2d 141, 148[13] (Mo.App. 1991). "The basis for the admission of such testimony is the corporate officer's unique familiarity with the value of the property." Id. This would seem to be particularly true where, as here, the corporate officer has knowledge of and experience with other properties in the same general area as the property about which he or she is testifying. We see no reason why this rule should not extend to a manager of a limited liability company, provided he or she "is in fact familiar with the value of the realty." Hendricks , 807 S.W.2d at 148[13]. We believe the evidence adequately demonstrates Davis's familiarity "with the value of the realty" here. Thus, we conclude that his testimony, alone, is substantial evidence that Plaintiff sustained an actual cash value loss. Accordingly, we hold that Plaintiff made a submissible case on the issue of damages.
This conclusion is bolstered by additional evidence presented by Plaintiff, particularly the testimony of its expert witnesses. Three experts testified as to the extent of the damage caused by the sprinkler incidents, while a fourth, Kirk Heyle, a commercial real estate broker and consultant, gave his opinion of the diminution in the fair market value as a result of the sprinkler incidents. Heyle testified he had been a real estate consultant and counselor in Springfield for twenty-four years and had been trained in methodologies of real estate appraisal. He described three accepted methods of real estate appraisal, i.e., the income approach, the cost approach, and the comparable sales approach, but explained that he utilized only the income approach in appraising the Heers building's value both before and after the sprinkler incidents.
In gauging the building's fair market value after the sprinkler incidents, Heyle utilized the damage assessments made by Plaintiff's other experts, including those hired to help prepare Plaintiff's second proof of loss. Heyle explained that he considered these damage estimates because he believed a potential buyer would take such costs of repair into account when making an offer on the property. See Sharaga , 831 S.W.2d at 253. Heyle took the total of the other expert's damage estimates, approximately $1.2 million, and amortized that amount "over a standard period of time" as an additional expense of operating the Heers building. This reduced the net income of the building during the amortization period. Finally, Heyle opined that, under the income method of appraisal, the sprinkler incidents caused a diminution in the fair market value of the Heers building, and, therefore, an actual cash value loss, of approximately $1.5 million.
Further, we note that even Defendant's appraisal expert, William Webb, testified that the sprinkler incidents caused at least some diminution in the fair market value of the Heers building. Webb opined that the Heers building's fair market value had been reduced $10,000 as a result of the sprinkler incidents. The fact that Webb's estimate of Plaintiff's loss was dramatically lower than that of Plaintiff's witnesses is inconsequential insofar as determining whether the evidence was sufficient to make a submissible case as to whether Plaintiff suffered an actual cash value loss.
Giving Plaintiff the benefit of all reasonable inferences, we conclude that this record contains substantial evidence that Plaintiff did sustain an actual cash value loss. Accordingly, we hold that Plaintiff did make a submissible case and that the trial court's decision to grant a new trial on weight of the evidence grounds was not a manifest abuse of discretion. Point II is denied. (FN6)
The trial court's grant of Plaintiff's motion for a new trial is affirmed.


FN1. In this opinion, we refer to the "old Heers Store" as the Heers building.
FN2. All rule references are to Missouri Supreme Court Rules (1998) unless otherwise noted. The trial court specifically referred the parties to Rule 55.08 and ITT Commercial Finance Corp. v. Mid-America Marine Supply Corp. , 854 S.W.2d 371 (Mo.banc 1993).

FN3. Rule 55.33(b) provides:

"When issues not raised by the pleadings are tried by express or implied consent of the parties, they shall be treated in all respects as if they had been raised in the pleadings. Such amendment of the pleadings as may be necessary to cause them to conform to the evidence and to raise these issues may be made upon motion of any party at any time, even after judgment; but failure to so amend does not affect the result of the trial of these issues. If evidence is objected to at the trial on the ground that is is not within the issues made by the pleadings, the court may allow the pleadings to be amended and shall do so freely when the presentation of the merits of the action will be subserved thereby and the objecting party fails to satisfy the court that the admission of such evidence would cause prejudice in maintaining the action or defense upon the merits."
FN4. References to section 375.420 are to RSMo 1994. In pertinent part, section 375.420 provides:

"In any action against any insurance company to recover the amount of any loss under a policy of . . . insurance except automobile liability insurance, if it appears from the evidence that such company has refused to pay such loss without reasonable cause or excuse, the . . . jury may, in addition to the amount thereof and interest, allow the plaintiff damages [as specified in this provision] . . . and a reasonable attorney's fee . . . ."
FN5. I n its argument under Point I, Defendant also contends that its amended answer contained sufficient facts to show it was entitled to its affirmative defenses and that, nonetheless, the pleading was sufficient to place Plaintiff on notice that Defendant intended to raise these defenses. These arguments and allegations of error go beyond the single error alleged in Defendant's point relied on. The questions for decision on appeal are those stated in the points relied on; a question not there presented will be considered abandoned. Flud v. Flud , 926 S.W.2d 201, 206[6] (Mo.App. 1996); Greene County Concerned Citizens v. Board of Zoning Adjustment of Greene County , 873 S.W.2d 246, 255[3] (Mo.App. 1994). "Issues to which an appellant alludes only in the argument portion of the brief are not presented for review." Flud , 926 S.W.2d at 206[7]; Greene County Concerned Citizens , 873 S.W.2d at 255[4]. Accordingly, we do not consider these contentions.
FN6. Defendant ' s argument under Point II is replete with attacks on Plaintiff ' s evidence, including characterizations of certain of Plaintiff's evidence as "self[-]serving," "self-contradictory," "irrelevant, immaterial, unsupported, and speculative." Defendant concentrates its attacks on the competence of Plaintiff's expert witnesses' testimony. There are two primary problems with Defendant's assault on Plaintiff's evidence. First, Defendant's attacks on the evidence ignore the standards of review applicable to this point as set forth in the early part of our discussion of Point II. Under those standards, we have no choice but to disregard much of the evidence Defendant argues in support of its position on appeal. Second, such attacks on the evidence call on us to judge the credibility of witnesses and weigh the evidence. This we cannot do. See Gentry , 744 S.W.2d at 789.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Monday, April 28, 2008

Automated Phone Answering System

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by sending this to at least one unstable person to show you care.

My job is now done.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Fairy Tales Can Come True

A Tale Of Two Cows

Remember that old adage? The grass is always greener on the other side? It's alright to strive for more in life. Keep in mind, however, that sometimes you may get stuck and need a helping hand.
Sometimes, a good friend may come along and offer to help you out.

But also remember, not everybody who says they are your friend, is your friend.

Gas Bill

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Collateral Damage

Forty years ago today, something happened near My Lai, Vietnam that sent shock waves all across America. I know.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Lucky Jimmy's girl posing at the river

Eat your heart out Elliot Spitzer! Lucky Jimmy's gets the milk for free! And he ain't losing his job over it either! That's why they call him 'Lucky Jimmy'!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Fifty Songs To Listen To While Reading The Debate Going On At "My Corner Of The Sky" And "Fat Jack's Rants"

Fat Jack, of Fat Jack's Rants has a post here and he also has a post here.

MH over at Corner of the Sky, has a post with some interesting thoughts here. In this post MH links to this post and to this post.

50. Elton John and George Michael “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me”
49. Dead or Alive “You Spin Me (Like A Record)”
48. Pet Shop Boys “New York City Boy”
47. Diana Ross Chain Reaction
46. Deborah Harry "I Want That Man"
45. Cher "Strong Enough"
44. RuPaul "Supermodel (You Better Work)”
43. KD Lang "Constrant Craving"
42. Culture Club "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?"
41. Chaka Kham "I'm Every Woman"40. Wham "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"
39. Paul Lekakis "Boom, Boom. (Let's Go Back To My Room)"
38. Kym Mazelle "Young Hearts Run Free”
37. George Michael "Outside"
36. Donna Summer "I Feel Love"
35. Dannii Minogue "This Is It"
34. Belinda Carlisle Summer Rain33. Peter Allen "I Go To Rio"
32. Sylvester "You Make Me Feel Mighty Real"
31. Heather Small "Proud"
30. CeCe Peniston "Finally"
29. Madonna "Express Yourself"
28. Cyndi Lauper "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
27. Charlene "I've Never Been To Me"
26. Tim Curry "Sweet Transvestite"
25. Barry Manilow "Copacabana"
24. Barbara Streisand and Donna Summer "No More Tears"
23. Whitney Houston "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)"
22. Sister Sledge "We Are Family"
21. Queen "I Want To Break Free"
20. Dolly Parton "9 to 5"
19. Coming Out Crew "Free, Gay and Happy"
18. Village People "In The Navy"
17. Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Relax"
16. Village People "Macho Man"
15. Judy Garland "Over The Rainbow"
14. Bronski Beat "Smalltown Boy"13. Diana Ross "I'm Coming Out"
12. Cher "Believe"
11. Gloria Gaynor "I Am What I Am"
10. Alicia Bridges "I Love The Nightlife"
9. Madonna "Vogue"
8. Olivia Netwon-John "Xanadu"
7. Kylie Minogue "Better The Devil You Know"
6. Pet Shop Boys "Go West"
5. Kylie Minogue "Your Disco Needs You"
4. The Weathergirls "It's Raining Men"
3. Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
2. Village People "YMCA"
1. ABBA "dancing Queen"

Monday, March 3, 2008

I "Fingered" The Doc: Continued From Page 33

The events depicted above were originally chronicled in STAG, June, 1954. STAG is published monthly by OFFICIAL MAGAZINE CORPORATION, Sid Kalish, Advertising Director, 270 Park Avenue, New York, 17, New York.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Jimmy Gets His Evens.

First, remember this post?

Then you know why this one seems familiar.

The Scientific American Tells Us Why We Kiss, Youtube Shows Us How We Kiss.

The Scientific American tells us why we kiss, Youtube shows us how we kiss:

Make-A-Wish Bankrupted By Sick Child

Thursday, February 21, 2008

What The Hell? Ben Cartwright?

1972 Porsche 911

Tyler Bend, Buffalo River Highway 65, Arkansas
Eureka Springs, Arkansas
From Car and Driver Magazine:
Arkansas 7
Highway 7 is one of the best-kept secrets in the country. Once anointed one of America's ten most beautiful roads by National Geographic, it is tucked into the folds of the Ozark National Forest and the Ouachita Mountains. Its best stretches link Harrison up north, which calls itself the "Crossroads of the Ozarks," and Arkadelphia, south of the newlywed and spa haven of Hot Springs. Along the way the road twists through miles of hardwood forests, across pristine streams such as the Buffalo National River, near state parks and wildflower meadows, by dramatic rock formations and high bluffs, over mountain tops and down into valleys still unspoiled. An especially splendid tract is the Ozark Highlands to Rotary Ann Overlook, with an awesome view of forests and mountains. Around every bend lies adventure-everything from hiking, camping, trout fishing, canoeing and caving to simply dawdling over fresh-baked pie and hot coffee at the Booger Hollow (population 7, counting the coon dog) Trading Post & Chuck Wagon Cafe. You might even get to observe a cutthroat game of checkers. The bonus beauties of 7 are its shortages of both traffic (particularly in spring and fall) and interruption (30-mile legs without settlements) and a length of 200 miles. This is a road mixing elemental and advanced challenges in well-balanced proportions. Avoid it like the plague in icy weather, but make a beeline for it any other time. Guaranteed to knock your socks off and turn you into a seriously addicted repeat offender.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Major Difference Between Life Of Jason And The Bus Plunge

Constant Bus riders are aware that there is a local blog that chronicles the life of a guy named Jason (that's a picture of Jason before he learned the correct way to ask a girl for a date to the blogaronis.) Bus riders also know that Life Of Jason and the Bus Plunge often blog on different topics. In fact, there are many differences between the LOJ and the Bus. For instance, the Bus has a bus, LOJ doesn't have a bus. LOJ lives in a 2-story house, the Bus lives in a brick house. LOJ drinks hot chocolate, the Bus drinks coffee.

Another example of the differences between the Bus and LOJ: Last week during the running of the Daytona 500, NASCAR's premier stockcar race, the Bus was able to watch the race free of unwanted interruptions and cheer on Ryan Newman and Kurt Busch, the Penske drivers who finished first and second. LOJ's distress at watching his favorite drivers Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson have a bad day at the race was compounded by telephone calls from the Missouri Deputy Sheriff's Association. LOJ blogged about the interuptions: you can read the post and all the comments here.

Money quote from LOJ: "And what in the world is the Missouri Deputy Sheriff’s Association doing calling me anyway?" Notice who called LOJ, the Missouri DEPUTY Sheriff's Association, the DEPUTIES called LOJ.

And that brings us to the major difference between the Busplunge and the LOJ. The Bus doesn't get his Daytona 500 interrupted by a phone call from a deputy. No siree bob, the Sheriff himself took the time to write the Bus a personal letter, personally hand delivered to the Bus's front door by a uniformed representative of the United States Government. Yes Sir, LOJ, the Sheriff knows how important the Bus is. The Sheriff knows the Bus is #7 this week.

LOJ gets a phone call from a deputy. The Bus gets a personal letter from the Sheriff. Major difference.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Homosexuality: To Gay Or Not To Gay

Ozarks Offbeat welcomes those visitors from The Bus Plunge. If you can not act like responsible adults while you are here, you will be asked to leave.This debate has been going on for as long as people have been debating. Dr. James Dobson says "Freud taught that...every boy desires to kill his father and have sexual intercourse with his mother, and every girl has a desire to kill her mother and have sexual intercourse with her father."

The Bus doesn't know if Freud actually taught that or not, but it was posted on this website and The Bus doesn't think Dr. Dobson would lie about something like this. So why take chances? A parent can never act too soon in taking precautionary measures to ensure that their child will never become intoxicated with mommy's perfume and choose to devote his life to being the bottom half of Adam and Steve.

The Bus recently met with members of the Society to Cure Ailing Morality and asked the Good Doctors at Landover Baptist Hospital's Homosexual Reparative Extreme-Psycho-Stabilization Ward for a few tips on how to prevent their children from growing up to be "that way".

But what of those youts whose parents have failed to still the stirrings in their loins and seek comfort outside the sanctity of marriage? Perhaps the young man Stephen Colbert is interviewing in the following video has the solution:
The Busplunge thanks the Landover Baptist Church for their assistance in assembling this blog posting. The Landover Baptist Church Website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under eighteen.

Note To Scholars: The posting of this and other controversial topics that will be posted on this blog in the coming week are part of a research project aimed at determining how accurate blog rating web sites are. One of the hypothesis' to be explored is that blog posting that have "homosexuality" or "gay" in the title bar have more page hits and thus are rated higher than those that don't. For example, of the top ten most viewed pages on Conservapedia, eight of them mention "homosexual" in the title. The Bus finds that humorous and thinks other bus riders will also.

Monday, February 11, 2008

On Craigslist Springfield Now

From the Springfield Craigslist > casual encounters

Reply to:
Date: 2008-02-11, 10:48AM CST

Good looking, widowed minister, healthy, 30 years old, seeks female for fun times.


No, no, it's for real!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

God Contrite About "Collateral Damage" in Huckabee Tornado Smite Attempt

Posted by admin on 2008/2/6 12:31:48 (10597 reads)
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Omnipresence, February 8, 2008

God, ruler of the universe and supreme arbiter of the weather, said today He was "deeply sorry" for the many casualties incurred during His attempt to smite Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee with a tornado during Super Tuesday primary election voting earlier this week.

Over 45 people were killed in the Southern states of Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Kentucky when multiple tornadoes touched down with devastating results during the biggest day so far in the Republican and Democratic primary election season.

The supreme potentate characterized the casualties as "collateral damage" in His effort to rid the world of Mr. Huckabee through the use of the anomalous weather condition, which the Prime Mover described as "notoriously tricky to aim precisely."

"Mike Huckabee incurred My divine displeasure through his constant invocation of My name and My glory in the pursuit of a self-aggrandizing political agenda," God said, adding that His ways were actually not that mysterious at all.

"I am, frankly, sick unto death of microscopic human beings, whom I might remind you I created—like that!" God said, snapping His fingers, "glomming onto Me in the hope that some of My divinity might somehow rub off on them. Pretending they have some insight into My divine intentions, implying they speak in My name—get real! Of all the candidates in the current mortal circus, Huckabee is by far the worst. He was simply begging for a smiting."

God explained that, what with His mind being focused on so many other things such as maintaining the precise geometrical arrangements of exploding hydrogen atoms in a billion quintillion suns throughout the universe, He inadvertently let His attention wander during the exact moment of the intended smite.

"I remember moving the warm and cold fronts into position to create the conditions that would form the tornado," God said, "and blowing in some wind to send it towards that overblown hypocrite Huckabee, but then, I'm sorry to say, what with one thing and another, my attention wandered. I was interested to see how big a cloud the collision between two galaxies you know as NGC 7319 and NGC 7320C—I call them Spiky and Curly—would make. It was a pretty big cloud."

"But I'm really very sorry about the innocents who were smitten," God continued. "Just as in the case of a universe, once you get that tornado spinning, it tends to develop a mind of its own."

The link is here.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

When I Was A Young Man And Never Been Kissed,

I Got To Thinking It Over, And Boy Was I Pissed.

Speaking of comic books, here are some book covers that I found interesting:

Wonder Woman won the race by a bra size. Did the Flash let her win? And what is Green Lantern thinking? "I'd give my left arm to run behind her for a few laps."

Another great call, kid - don't use your Superbreath to extinguish the blaze. Oh no. Instead, form a bridge so you can look up girl's skirts.

It’s hard to tell what’s going on here. Well, not that hard – it’s war, obviously, and the Gyrenes - that’s pronounced “jeh-reh-nays” – have just blown up the Dreamsicle factory. One Gyrene has decided to take out some Krauts, and –

No, they’re not Krauts. According to the cover, the Gyrenes are feared by Japs, so these must be deep-cover Japs on a spy mission to . . . oh, never mind. It doesn’t matter. They’re Marines. The word gets around. Doctor Bobbs! Doctor Bobbs! Is he having a dalliance or maybe more with Night Nurse? Let's listen in, from 11:00 pm, clockwise: Hand me the stabbing tool, Nurse – I’ve screwed this one up, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let her die slow.
Dr. Bobbs hopes this will bring his date around, because this is starting to get hairy, man
Dr. Bobbs, hopped up on pharmaceutical-grade narcotics, races a car around a scale model of modern city
Dr. Bobbs relieves the patient of his winning lottery ticket, which was creating pressure on his, uh, lower lumbar-type area
Dr. Bobbs plots the day when he can arrange an accident for that bitch Gilda; she caught him once shooting up in his office and thinks she can hold it over his head and make him come up with the good stuff for the rest of eternity. Well, her time will come
Dr. Bobbs performs a fist-assisted star-ectomy
Dr. Bobbs confronts the sad fact that pap smears weren’t as sexy as they sounded in medical school
Dr. Bobbs swears this is the last time. He just needs a little boost, that’s all. After this he’s tapering off. Swear to GOD.
Linda Carter, Night Nurse, is surprised to see Dr. Bobbs...she told him she was a night nurse and it is daylight....oh the horror, the horror! Stay tune for more dubious moments in comic book history that will probably NOT make the graphic classroom but will make you laugh or cry. Or maybe even walk out of the room and throw a tomotoe or an egg at the side of a passing truck.

On Petblogging, over on busplunge, dirtsister left this comment: I think I saw that skinny little fox splattered on Linwood.2/08/2008 9:25 PM My grandson Trey and I drove down Linwood between Fort and Missouri but didn't see it. But the street sweepers went through the hood yesterday.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Matt Damon

First, watch this clip from Jimmy Kimmel's show:

Then watch this clip:

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Crack Found In Man's Buttocks

The link is here.

Thanks to Andy at for making us laugh!

I won't go hunting with you Jake, but I'll go chasing women

For Sniderman:I Won't Go Huntin' With You, Jake (But I'll Go Chasin' Women) Lyrics ID: 998

Oh, it's springtime in the mountains and I'm full of mountain dew
Can't even read my catalog like I used to do
I'm a-settin' in that little shed that's right back of the house
Here's comes old Jake with all the hounds; but he's gonna hear me shout:

Oh, I won't go huntin' with you, Jake, but I'll go chasin' women
So put them hounds back in the pens and quit your silly grinnin'
Well, the moon is bright, and I'm half tight; my life is just beginnin'
I won't go huntin' with you, Jake, but I'll go chasin' women.

Let's go down to the meetin' house and wait till they start home
Them gals that live on Possum Creek we'll always leave alone
We'll run them down the corn rows, them sassy little misses
We'll scare them pretty gals to death; we'll stop and throw 'em kisses.


Now, go wash your face and comb your hair, 'cause it's durn near time to start
But let me tell you 'fore you go, there's one that's got my heart
Don't chase that gal with the yaller hair and wears a dress of green
For that little gal belongs to me, I know she's past sixteen.


Now I was headed for the general store, when a silly thing I seen
They make 'em in the city; called a magazine
I turned to page thirty-two, and look at what I found
Them gals wear clothes that we ain't seen beneath them gingham gowns.


Lyrics by Stuart Hamblen.
Recorded by Jimmy Dean.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Saturday, February 2, 2008


*May God at the intercession of Saint Blaise preserve you from throat troubles and every other evil.St. Blase was a physician and the Bishop of Sebaste, Armenia. He once saved a child who was choking on a fish bone, which led to the blessing of throats on St. Blaise's feast day. He was beheaded in 316. Which leads to another question I asked Sr. Placida that got me in trouble: since St. Blaise is the patron saint of throats, why did he let his own throat get cut? Another konk and another trip to the principal's office. BTW, the principal's name was Sister Mary Alphonse.

One day an announcement came over the PA. All 8th grade boys who had used the lavoratory that afternoon were to immediately go to the principal's office. Well, this was much more exciting than learning about transitive and intransitive verbs, so all of us 8th grade boys got up and crowded into the principal's office. Sister Alphonse told us that someone had taken one of the bars of soap and had written a horrible, nasty word on the mirror in the boy's lavoratory. She wanted the culpit to confess to the deed and to go with her and wash the word off the mirror immediately or she would tell the pastor, Father Scheaffer and all of us would be in big trouble. One of us brave souls, I wish I could say it was me, but I don't remember, asked Sr. Alphonse what the word was. She said, and I swear this is true, "Fuuk".

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It Smelled Like....Victory. Some Day This War's Gonna To End

I watched a snake crawl on the edge of a straight razor.
Turn up the volume and make it full screen.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Red-Headed Boy With Hats

Last fall, I did a post that I called Men With Hats. I followed it up a little later with another post that I called More Men With Hats".
I proudly present, for your viewing pleasure, "Red-Headed Boy With Hats":