Do you really want to go here?
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
10 Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I Ain't No Redneck
What they really think of us Barbara and I went to Indianapolis for a Toby Keith concert, where we partied with something like 25,000 happy rednecks, most of them young, most of them wearing boots and cowboy hats (and cheering Keith's great song "I Should Have Been a Cowboy"). It's a great show, and he's a wonderful performer, not least because of his deeply moving patriotic songs like "American Soldier," "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue," and " The Taliban," etc.
It's great to get out of the Washington culture of narcissism and spend some time with the rednecks, a.k.a. real Americans. And it's simply great, as the encores end, and a downpour of red, white and blue confetti covers the crowd, to see Toby say "don't ever apologize for your patriotism," and then lift the middle finger of his right hand to the skies and say, "F*** 'Em!"
And then there's this take.
Friday, December 21, 2007
More Proof We Are Descended From Monkeys
The Bonobo, , also called Dwarf Chimpanzee, spend all of their lives in sexual activities. They use it instead of arguing or fighting, but also as a way of greeting one another and thanking for food.
Besides humans, they are the only animals that have oral sex, kiss with their tongues and masturbate in a group, everyone with everyone, regardless of sex.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
What I Want For Christmas, Part II
Something from here?
Things you should have learned in school.
Buy Uranus
from the dollar menu: two double cheeseburgers, hold the cheese; dollar fries; one of those drinks that are on special for 89 cents.
Things you should have learned in school.
Buy Uranus
from the dollar menu: two double cheeseburgers, hold the cheese; dollar fries; one of those drinks that are on special for 89 cents.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
My New Best Friends
The difference between a friend and a best friend:
A friend will bail you out
A best friend will say, "Dang! let's do that again!"
Watch this: My New Best Friends.
A friend will bail you out
A best friend will say, "Dang! let's do that again!"
Watch this: My New Best Friends.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
You Can Take the Girl Out Of The Trailer Park......
But you can't always take the trailer park out of the girl....
I asked her if she lived in Pierce City, she said she lived in Seligman.
I asked her if she lived in Pierce City, she said she lived in Seligman.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Every Cuss Word We Know
Nun Reads List of Curse Words to Kids
GROSSE POINTE PARK, Mich. - Sister Kathy Avery won't put up with swearing on the playground at her school, and she's not above repeating the offending language to make sure everyone understands which words she won't tolerate.
The principal of St. Clare of Montefalco Catholic School had students stay after a Mass last month and informed the fifth- through eighth-graders that she has a zero-tolerance policy for cursing.
Just in case anyone wasn't sure what she was talking about, Avery read off a list of the very words and phrases that she was banning.
"It got a little quiet in church" during her talk, she told the Detroit Free Press.
Some parents were shocked, but others applauded, the newspaper said.
"In a way you would think a nun would shy away from something like that, but she's very open with the children, very clear in her messages," said Margaret Roache, chairperson of the school commission.
Roache's sixth-grade son was there when Avery read the list of banned words.
"When I asked him to give me a sample of it, he said 'Oh, no, I can't say it!'" Roache said. "I thought it was great."
A representative of the Archdiocese of Detroit declined to comment Sunday.
GROSSE POINTE PARK, Mich. - Sister Kathy Avery won't put up with swearing on the playground at her school, and she's not above repeating the offending language to make sure everyone understands which words she won't tolerate.
The principal of St. Clare of Montefalco Catholic School had students stay after a Mass last month and informed the fifth- through eighth-graders that she has a zero-tolerance policy for cursing.
Just in case anyone wasn't sure what she was talking about, Avery read off a list of the very words and phrases that she was banning.
"It got a little quiet in church" during her talk, she told the Detroit Free Press.
Some parents were shocked, but others applauded, the newspaper said.
"In a way you would think a nun would shy away from something like that, but she's very open with the children, very clear in her messages," said Margaret Roache, chairperson of the school commission.
Roache's sixth-grade son was there when Avery read the list of banned words.
"When I asked him to give me a sample of it, he said 'Oh, no, I can't say it!'" Roache said. "I thought it was great."
A representative of the Archdiocese of Detroit declined to comment Sunday.
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